Professor Mikey’s OLD SCHOOL

OLD SCHOOL #33 Going, Going, Gone HOLLYWOOD

Today the educational underground pirate podcast has dropped anchor at nostalgic Malibu. Just a little ways from the nude beach, near Leo Carrillo State Park. You remember Leo. He played Pancho on the Cisco Kid TV show we watched on our old BWTVs.LA is near, and so much of this is connected to Hollywood. Not far from here, I danced on the roof overlooking the tennis court owned by Fatty Arbuckle. Rock and Roll and Hollywood have always shared a rocky horror show of a relationship. Rock stars want to be movie stars. But something isn’t right. Elvis made 31 forgettable movies before we got Prince in Purple Rain.Then you have movie stars playing rock stars. Gary Busey as Buddy Holly. Val Kilmer becomes the Lizard King. Rami Malek wins the Oscar as Freddie Mercury. Austin Butler channels Elvis.  Tom Hanks play Col. Tom Parker and Geppetto in the same year. He wants to make the King of Rock and Roll a real live boy.If a life in music can be shaped into a 2-hour biopic, the icon gets introduced to a new generation, the record sell again, and that elusive shot at immortality gets a kick in the career.So it’s not surprising when the conversation flips, when music gets to tell you the story of Hollywood, it’s a bit of a dream balloon with a slow leak. Rock and roll is truth, and the truth is Hollywood devours it’s young and old, it’s women, it’s children.But that’s another story. In this episode of Old School, its lights, action, camera, Botox, Beverly Hills lunches, press agents, brick and mortar studios, “to stream or not to stream,” and loud slaps at the Oscars.Pop music attempts to gaze beyond the fantasy, but loves a good pool party.  especially if it happens at Hugh Hefner’s Playboy mansion and you get to hang out with Mama Cass, Steve McQueen, Bruce Lee, and Sharon Tate.Once upon a time in rock and roll…We are Going, Going, Gone Hollywood. Fasten you seatbelt, it’s going to be a bumpy night.HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD Frances Langford, Johnnie Davis, Benny Goodman and His Orchestra (1937)I LOVE L.A. Randy Newman (1983)WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD The Aylum Choir: Leon Russell & Marc Benno (1972)HOLLYWOOD SWINGING Kool and the Gang (1974)ACT NATURALLY Buck Owens and the Buckaroos (1963)HOLLYWOOD The Runaways (1977)GIRLS ON FILM Duran Duran (1980)MY BABY LOVES A WESTERN MOVIE The Olympics (1958)COWBOYS FROM HOLLYWOOD Camper Van Beethoven (1985)LITTLE HOLLYWOOD GIRL The Everly Brothers (1977)HOLLYWOOD #1 Thunderclap Newman (1969)SKATEAWAY Dire Straits (1980)HOLLYWOOD Rick James (1978)SPILL THE WINE Eric Burdon and War (1970)HOLLYWOOD STOMP Victoria Spivey (1937)DOWN IN HOLLYWOOD Ry Cooder (1974)KING OF THE SILVER SCREEN Alice Cooper (1977)SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES The Drifters (1964)CELLULOID HEROES The Kinks (1972) RETROFIT is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

OLD SCHOOL #32 Slightly Off

As usual Professor Mikey is lost in the music. This episode is full of weird rarities that would inspire a radio general manager to rush into the air room, swear loudly, rip the record off the turntable, frisbee it against a soundproof wall, and threaten your paltry salary should you ever play such again over his airwaves. And you thought radio drama was dead.Any one of these often cringeworthy cuts could get you in radio timeout. There’s a novelty about them but they aren’t necessarily novelty songs. Some were meant to be funny, others I fear are oddly quite serious. Many are rarities. Some are forgotten for good reasons. Most of them could get you firedAll of them are slightly off center. For instance Captain Beefheart and Edith Piaf share the same playlist. They are in good company with Nervous Norbert and Lothar and the Hand People.  Chubby Checker teaches us the Lose Your Inhibition Twist. The Monkees drop acid, and the Electric Prunes expose the Great Banana Hoax.Use them when you need diversion or something way different. Or when you want to swear and throw your headphones against the wall.Let’s begin with John Hartford, a fabulous songwriter who helped launch the career of Glen Campbell with a beautiful song called “Gentle on My Mind.” For this song he ha boogie on his mind. OLD SCHOOL #32. Slightly off. Hey babe. Wanna boogie?BOOGIE John HartfordEAT IT Weird Al Yankovic (1984)BIG 10-INCH Bull Moose Jackson (1952)ROCK THERAPY Johnny Burnette (1956)BLACK DENIM TROUSERS Edith Piaf (1958)KOOKIE, KOOKIE, LEND ME YOUR COMB Ed “Kookie” Burns & Connie Stevens (1958)LOSE YOUR INHIBITION TWIST Chubby Checker (1962)SO DO THE ZONK Donna Loren (1965)EGYPTIAN SHUMBA The Tammys (1963)KING TUT Steve Martin (1978)TRANSFUSION Nervous Norvus (1956)LICK MY DECALS OFF BABY Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band ( 1970 )CIRCLE SKY The Monkees (1968)LISTEN TO THE SKY Sands (1967)TV WEATHERMAN Lothar and the Hand People (1966)FAIRY TALE IN THE SUPERMARKET The Raincoats (1979)THE GREAT BANANA HOAX The Electric Prunes (1967)RETROFIT is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Header key: Buddy Ebsen as the Tin Man, the world is cubed, Dali as Mona, Abe and Clark, the ultra rare upside down plane stamp, Hairy Potter, Samantha and the “other Darren (so witchy), The Beatles in Denmark: John, Jimmy, George, and Paul. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

OLD SCHOOL #31 Reflections in a Gold Record

For many thoughtful recording artists caught up in their merry-go-round careers, ricocheting between record deals, concerts, luxury hotels, late night talk shows, and profound social media posts, there is little time to pause for reflection. In the Old School days, there were fewer distractions. For several artists, their career ups and downs became fodder for philosophy. Their good fortune, the reviews,  the rush of fame, their next haircut. How did this all happen? How did I get here? Am I famous in other galaxies?Regardless, for many of these cultural icons, rich, famous and otherwise, soul searches became songs. Their fans often clamored for meaning within those deep grooves. Whether or not the artists ran deep, many felt the need to shout their plights out loud. Perhaps their enlightenment could help the lost-but always hopeful record buying public. Or at least provide a slamming B side.That’s where we are in this episode. The meaning of life from the rarified mind of the rock star. And the commercial possibilities of said meanings. Professor Mikey here. I’m inspired. Let’s pause for some Reflections in a Gold Record!A NEW DAY YESTERDAY Jethro Tull (1969)ETERNITY SPIN Jimmy Spheeris (1975)ALFIE Cher (1966)LIVE AND LET LIVE Love (1967)GRIM REAPER OF LOVE The Turtles (1967)IN THE TIME OF OUR LIVES Iron Butterfly (1969)YOU CAN’T JUDGE A BOOK BY LOOKING AT THE COVER Bo Diddley (1962)BELOW THE FUNK Rick James (1981)THEM CHANGES Buddy Miles (1970)MY WAY Sid ViciousPURE AND EASY Pete Townshend (1972) This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

OLD SCHOOL #30 Hand Me Down Blues

The birth of Rock and Roll is a modest announcement in music history, often told in romantic human terms. Country and Western music wedded the Blues and the offspring rocked.There is no specific birthdate. The music combined together over the years like a heartsick gumbo. Take some lowdown hurt feelings, sprinkle in some bad luck and trouble, a pinch of dirty dealing, and a few ‘Fore Day Creeps, let it simmer in Mississippi, and bring it to a boil in Chicago.The Blues. Let the hard times rock, let the good times roll.A certain grouping of young rockers of the 50s and 60s, many of them volunteers in the British Invasion, discovered the nearly forgotten scratchy American blues tracks from the Depression and beyond. They plugged in their guitars, and soon their counterparts in the USA were getting reintroduced to their own legacy by a bunch of long hairs who took tea at three.Many of the new fans didn’t realize that it had all been heard before..In this episode of Retrofit Old School, we will dig out the originals, then see what happened to them over time. Some clone the bones with astounding accuracy, lacking only the smell of gin beneath the cigarette smoke. Others simply wake the dead.This is Old School, and here comes the Hand Me Down Blues. Have mercy.BOOM BOOM John Lee Hooker (1961)BOOM BOOM The Animals (1965)BACK DOOR MAN Howlin’ Wolf (1961)BACK DOOR MAN The Doors (1967)BULLDOZE BLUES Henry Thomas (1927)GOING UP COUNTRY Canned Heat (1969)FLIP FLOP AND FLY Big Joe Turner (1955)FLIP FLOP AND FLY The Blues Brothers (1978)DEVIL GOT MY WOMAN Skip James (1931)DEVIL GOT MY WOMAN Beck (1996)OUTSIDE WOMAN BLUES Blind Joe Reynolds (1929)OUTSIDE WOMAN BLUES Cream (1967)LITTLE RED ROOSTER Willie Dixon (1961)LITTLE RED ROOSTER The Rolling Stones (1964)MANNISH BOY Muddy Waters (1955)I’M A MAN The Yardbirds (1964)STATESBORO BLUES Blind Willie McTell (1929)STATESBORO BLUES The Allman Brothers (1971ME AND THE DEVIL BLUES Robert Johnson (1937)ME AND THE DEVIL BLUES Gil Scott-Heron (2010)WHEN THE LEVEE BREAKS Memphis Minnie and Kansas Joe (1929)WHEN THE LEVEE BREAKS Led Zeppelin (1970) This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

BLONDE

Over twenty years ago, Joyce Carol Oates wrote the book that just might become the hottest movie of 2022. Blonde is the life story of Marilyn Monroe told in a completely original, fictional way.Long before “me too” Oates told the story of Hollywood’s most iconic star, and her emotionally fractured path to the top. It wasn’t glamorous. It was gritty. It was sordid. It was filled with disappointment and sorrow. Nevertheless, Norma Jeans star ascended, just as her soul was being crushed by a system people only whispered about.With the publication of Blonde, Joyce Carol Oates was booked for a series of radio interviews. That’s where our paths crossed. When our interview happened she was still under the spell of being recently possessed not only by Americas sweetheart, but a true human of extraordinary beauty and severely bad luck. Here’s Joyce Carol Oates conversing with Professor Mikey about her new novel in the year 2000, the myth and the magic of Blonde. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

OLD SCHOOL #29 PiPe DREaM

The pipe of dreams was creatively passed down from Samuel Taylor Coleridge and other British dope champions to the rockers of the Age of Aquarius.“Pipe Dream” is one of those terms that gets totally misunderstood. We live in a time of piping and dreaming, so naturally many people believe the term is inspired by drugs.Though the drug reference is probably the more enticing, for years the phrase itself had little to do with inhaling and/or inebriation. In fact a pipe dream was pretty innocent.It radiated—hope. Like the definition from the Cambridge English Dictionary:An idea or plan that is impossible or very unlikely to happen: “Her plans are not realistic - they'll never be more than a pipe dream.”Still, the roots of calling out a pipe dream for what it really is, have basis in history. According to the Grammarist website:A pipe dream is an unrealistic and unattainable goal, an impossible hope. The pipe alluded to in this term is a smoking pipe, but the substance being smoked is not tobacco. Pipe dream stems from the practice of smoking opium, and though many English writers turned to opiates for inspiration, the term pipe dream originated in the United States. In the mid-1800s to the late 1800s, the western United States was rife with opium dens, places where opium from China was sold and smoked.So there it is. The pipe dreams that became subjects of various drug songs, especially in the hallucination we know as The Sixties, were grounded in this tradition. It involved touching a flame to something that grew in poppy fields. In those woozy times, dreams of rock and roll stardom rode side by side with rampant munchies and urges to tie dye the curtains.This episode includes A-Listers (Rolling Stones, The Byrds, Donovan), faded flames (Spooky Tooth, The Blues Magoos), art rockers (Procol Harum, Soft Machine, Lamb), and those obscured by the years and stale smoke (The Sound Sandwich, World Column.)Still, there is hope this Old School podcast will get a zillion downloads and ultimately elevated by Apple, Spotify, or Disney.No matter what definition grabs you🎸PIPE DREAM The Blues Magoos (1967)LOST IN MY DREAM Spooky Tooth (1969)QUEEN OF DREAMS The Strawbs (1972)IN ANOTHER LAND The Rolling Stones (1967)MIND GARDEN The Byrds (1967)LANTERN GOSPEL World Column (1968)SONG FOR A DREAMER Procol Harum (1971)APOTHECARY DREAM The Sound Sandwich (1967)SLEEPWALKERS Lamb (1971)HEMPSTEAD INCIDENT Donovan (1967)WHY ARE WE SLEEPING The Soft Machine (1968)I HAD TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT The Electric Prunes (1967) This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

OLD SCHOOL #28 Law and Disorder

Going over Old School lesson plans, seeking the good stuff from back in the day, you realize how astoundingly different the times were. The nightly network news shows only took a half hour, and unlike the 24-hour pound-a-thons we have now, lawyers rarely made appearances. Sure there were legal issues, but if you wanted to see a lawyer on television, you tuned in to Perry MasonThe radio was another matter. The rock stations had fun with the law, and even fought it. Country stations averaged maybe four jail songs an hour. Beyond being sad and locked up, country stars made musical hay with songs about divorce, stolen trucks, and avoiding revenuers.For this episode, we are using our one phone call to dial up some true legal entanglements. Warren Zevon has left the country; he needs three vital things to get back home. Shorty Long anticipates the judge. Moby Grape has other plans for that authority figure. Clarence Carter reports from a hot Georgia courtroom. John Mayall has sage observations. Foul play makes Bobby Fuller a one-hit wonder. Vicki Young sings from a women’s prison. Johnny Cash has gotten into trouble far beyond cocaine, Merle Haggard is on the run and the Flying Burrito Brothers have one last request. The Robins really aren’t looking forward to their sentences. Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers and the Purple Gang and the whole cell block just want to dance to the Jailhouse Rock.LAWYERS, GUNS, AND MONEY Warren Zevon (1978)HERE COMES THE JUDGE Shorty Long (1968)MURDER IN MY HEART FOR THE JUDGE Moby Grape (1968)THE COURTROOM Clarence Carter (1971)THE LAWS MUST CHANGE John Mayall (1971) I FOUGHT THE LAW The Bobby Fuller Four (1966) RIOT IN CELL BLOCK #9 Vicki Young (1954) COCAINE BLUES Johnny Cash (1968) I AM A LONESOME FUGITIVE Merle Haggard (1967) SING ME BACK HOME The Flying Burrito Brothers (1973) TEN DAYS IN JAIL The Robins (1954) JAILHOUSE ROCK Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers (1957) This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

OLD SCHOOL #27 All American Red, White, and Blue Mixtape

Happy Fourth, happy birthday, sail away to a few American tunes! It’s a special Old School All American Red, White, and Blue Mixtape. The stories are all on the podcast, so push play. It’s a holiday.Recommended for: long waits at the airport, backyard barbecues, setting off fireworks, flag waving, Constitution reading, taking the Fifth, drinking a Fifth, wishing for the Fifth, steering clear of the tainted potato salad, playing volleyball in the park, testing your waterproof earbuds, slipping on the Slip and Slide, and trying not to harsh the mellow of your dear old Uncle Sam.These tunes for good times from all times. Audio fireworks!The Beach Boys. "Spirit of America" Little Deuce Coupe. Capitol, 1963. 🏖🏝☀️⛱🏝🏖Chuck Berry. "Back in the USA" The Great 28. Chess, 1964. Johnny Cash. "Ragged Old Flag" The Essential Johnny Cash. Columbia, 1974. Roger McGuinn. "The Ballad of Easy Rider" Easy Rider. Hip-O Records, 1969. Blitzen Trapper. "American Goldwing" American Goldwing. SubPop, 2011. John Prine. "Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore" John Prine. Atlantic, 1971. Alice Cooper. "I Love America" Dada. Warner Bros, 1983. Bill Parsons (Bobby Bare). “All American Boy” Single. Fraternity, 1959.Stan Freberg. "Declaration of Independence "A Man Can't Be Too Careful What He Signs These Days"" Stan Freberg Presents the United States of America. Rhino, 1961 Steppenwolf. “Monster/Suicide/America” Monster. ABC Dunhill Records, 1969.David Bowie. “I’m Afraid of Americans” Earthling. Virgin, 1997.Cat Power. "American Flag" Moon Pix. Matador, 1998. Ry Cooder. "FDR in Trinidad" Into the Purple Valley. Reprise, 1971. Bob Dylan. "Dear Mrs Roosevelt" Tribute to Woody Guthrie. Warner Bros, 1968. Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. "American Dream" American Dream. Atlantic, 1988. Spinal Tap. "America" This Is Spinal Tap. Polydor, 1984. James Brown. "Hey America" The Singles Vol 7 (1970-1972). Hip-O Select, 2009. Prince. "America" Single. Warner Bros, 1990. Stan Freberg. “Finale: “America, America! (Reprise) Stan Freberg Presents the United States of America Vol. 2. Rhino, 1996. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

OLD SCHOOL #26 The Streets of San Francisco

“I thought that, with an incredible amount of media blitzing and books and knowledge, you could change people. But you can’t. The only person I can change is me.” —Grace Slick, to Ben Fong-Torres, The San Francisco Sound (Actually There Wasn’t One…) San Francisco, 1967. What a fabulous destination for our educational pirate radio podcast boat to dock. We can hitch a ride on the Merry Prankster’s magic bus, Further, driven by Neal Cassady and coast on over to the Haight-Ashbury district where some righteous dude and his old lady will let us crash on their water bed under the stars of Aquarius. All they will want in return is some spare change and maybe a little love grass.And maybe some tunes. We definitely have brought some tunes.Whether you sing these songs in your sleep, or are hearing them for the first time, pretend you are hearing them for the first time. No one on this list, save perhaps for Eric Burdon, had any clue about the amount of fame that might come their way. Some got there. For others it was a major surprise how their bands could be riding on such a comet and then zip away from the solar system of public interest as quickly as they had arrived. 3/5 of a Mile in Ten Seconds into oblivion. Dead and hardly grateful. Here and gone before Woodstock.For the past few days I have been listening to nothing but hippie music, mostly from the 1967 Summer of Love, all from the city by the bay, where Tony Bennett left his heart and Janis Joplin took a piece of it.The first disorganized Amerikan resistance to the British Invasion sparked up innocently enough here, as the culture moved toward incense and love beads. Here was a time of free love and flower power, orchestrated within a primal urge to make love not war. The soundtrack was ragtag, fascinating, original, and somewhat other-wordly, helped along by mind expanding substances. For this podcast I wanted to pick famous as well as obscure bands and hear them at early points in their diverse journeys. There is a national hit here and there, but hopefully even the most hardcore flower child will find a local surprise or at least a lightshow flashback.And now it’s time to hit the Streets of San Francisco!Special Extra: MONTEREY POP Full MovieSAN FRANCISCAN NIGHTS Eric Burdon and the AnimalsARE YOU GONNA BE THERE (AT THE LOVE IN) The Chocolate WatchbandPRIDE OF MAN Quicksilver Messenger ServiceQUICKSILVER GIRL The Steve Miller BandHEARTS TO CRY Frumious BandersnatchSOMEBODY TO LOVE The Great! SocietyTHE BALLAD OF YOU & ME & POONEIL Jefferson AirplaneALABAMA BOUND The CharlatansSUZY CREAMCHEESE Teddy and His PatchesUNDERDOG Sly and the Family StoneJUST A LITTLE The Beau BrummelsNOT SO SWEET MARTHA LORRAINE Country Joe and the FishRUBIYAT The Immediate Family1982-A Sons of ChamplinDOWN ON ME Big Brother and the Holding CompanyTHE GOLDEN ROAD (TO UNLIMITED DEVOTION) Grateful DeadBYE BYE BYE The Tikis This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe

OLD SCHOOL #25 Omaha Shout

This episode of Old School came together somewhere between Moby Grape and Peyton Manning. The first Moby Grape album, released in 1967 and included with the videos below, was so hyped that most of the tracks on the album were released as singles. Peyton didn’t come along until 1976, long after the Grape peeled. Why he yelled “Omaha” so much is explained in the podcast. Click play!Finding that song inspired this curation, an eclectic collection of genres and destinations. The Riviera’s “California Sun” was headed for last week’s show (See OS#24, Poolside ‘63) until it was discovered the song came out in 1964.Following that frivolity, Nina Simone’s explosive “Mississippi Goddam” erupts from that same summer of ‘64. Tulsa gives us two tunes from the same area code from the King of Western Swing and an American crooner who brought the Rolling Stones a famous jug of whiskey.Mick and the boys covered the original of “Harlem Shuffle” that is included in the podcast. Scroll down for that 80s video. Bob and Earl must have never gotten around to filming it.John Cale goes ghostbusting in France on “Paris 1919.” King Curtis literally cooks a mess of “Memphis Soul Stew.” Jello Biafra beams in from Cambodia, and Hank Snow has been everywhere and still can’t get a decent haircut.Worst gas prices ever, but at least you are coming away from Old School with an earful of audio souvenirs. Stay safe. If all else fails, yell “OMAHA!!!”OMAHA Moby Grape (1967)CALIFORNIA SUN The Rivieras (1964)MISSISSIPPI GODDAM Nina Simone (1964)TAKE ME BACK TO TULSA Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys (1941)24 HOURS FROM TULSA Gene Pitney (1964)HARLEM SHUFFLE Bob and Earl (1964)PARIS 1919 John Cale (1973)MEMPHIS SOUL STEW King Curtis (1967)HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA The Dead Kennedys (1978) I’VE BEEN EVERYWHERE Hank Snow (1962)1. Angkor Wat (Khmer: អង្គរវត្ត, Ângkôr Vôtt [ʔɑŋkɔː ʋɔət]; meaning "Temple City") is a temple complex in Cambodia and is the largest religious monument in the world,[1] on a site measuring 162.6 hectares (1,626,000 m2; 402 acres).[2] Breaking from Shaiva tradition of previous kings, Angkor Wat was dedicated to Vishnu for the Khmer Empire. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit professormikey.substack.com/subscribe